Star Trek: Game Over... Try again?
by J. M. Lee
Summary: Check it out! LOL. I was upset with the series finale of Star Trek Voyager. And I like parodies. And I like AliRPG characters. So... this is the result. I hope it gives you a good laugh. W_^p


Game Over... Continue? Check it out! LOL. I was upset with the series finale of Star Trek Voyager. And I like parodies. And I like AliRPG characters. So... this is the result. I hope it gives you a good laugh. W_^p 

Character credits/cast! 

**Characters of Donielle Mari-Rose Mystagic**

  * Deionæra Mystagic - as D

**Characters of Kathryn "The Kat" Bailey**

  * Vail Blaize - as Thirteen
  * Fink Cantor - as Himself
  * James Oake - as Himself

**Characters of Gobrianna**

  * Gobrianna - as Herself
  * Pilot - as Himself

**Characters of Sushiyaki "Sushi" Miyamoto**

  * Sushi - as Herself

The Original Leon Magnus (as Rion Magnus/Harry) - Those NAMCO people  
The Original Lance (as the Doctor/Lance), Sakaki/Giovanni (as himself) - The people at Nintendo/Game Freak

All other characters (unless I forgot someone -- Sorry if I did, just mail me and I'll correct it) are mine. Except for Cruisor. I created Cruisor, but he belongs to Elka. Whee!

  
Starship Voyager, Intrepid Class   
Somewhere in the Delta Quadrant.   
"Game Over... Continue?"   
  
  
Admiral Flyer nodded to the young asian man who was no longer quite so young. The tenth anniversary of the Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant was buzzing softly.   
"Nice to see you again, Admiral," Rion said, tipping his head. "It's been a while."   
"Sure has Rion," Blu replied, taking a sip of her tea. "I've been working too hard, and I guess you have, too. What's the name of the ship you captain these days?"   
"The New Hampshire," Rion said. He leaned back and brought his wine glass to his nose, smelling the red liquid. "It's so nice to have everyone back together again, even if it's only for once every ten years."   
"Aye," Blu said, agreeing with a raise of her mug. The two quieted as they both reflected on the same thing.   
"Well," Rion said softly. "At least.. most of us."   
"Hmm," Blu agreed. She looked up as another man approached, brown hair thinning back from the scruffable bush it had been. "Joe!"   
Joe tipped his head slightly. "He-llo, Admiral. Finally found you!"   
"Yes, I know," Blu said wryly, gesturing at the people mingling. She grinned. "How's Kate? Is she here?"   
"Uh, yeah.. somewhere. That reminds me.. Mind telling me what my daughter is up to?"   
"Kaia? Yes. She's doing a fine job with her assignment."   
Joe looked slightly troubled. "Um. What exactly.. *is* that assignment?"   
Blu curled her lips in and breathed through her nose.   
"You know I can't tell you that Joe," she said. "But she is.. and will be.. fine."   
Joe nodded. "Well, I'm not worried about that, she's in your care. But I'd just like to see her again. Kate, too, of course."   
"Of course."   
Joe knew from the tone of voice his former Captain used that she was not going to bleed any information.   
"Well.. I oughta go smooze some more.." He saluted with his glass and disappeared into the crowd.   
Blu shook her head and took a sip of her tea.   
"I think I'll take his example," she said. "I'll see you later, Rion."   
Rion nodded and watched her go.   
  
* * *   
  
"Another false alarm," the Doctor said. He ran a hand through his white-blond hair.   
"A what?" Joe Flyer was audibly, visibly, and overall obviously distressed. Kate Ardri, running her hands through her shoulder-length hair, groaned. "Are you sure this is normal?"   
The Doctor nodded, looking at the datapadd he held in his hand. "Yes. Quite normal, especially for Greys."   
"Greys," Kate moaned. "What is that supposed to mean?"   
"Nothing that the words don't say," the Doctor said, voice clipped as usual. He walked away. "You can go back to bed."   
"Hph, fat chance," Kate said, hopping off the sickbed. She held her pajama top shut and shuffled out of sickbay.   
"You're sure that's normal?" Joe asked.   
"You worry more than anyone on this ship," the Doctor said with a small grin. Joe shrugged.   
"Can't help it. G'night."   
The Doctor nodded, then turned his indigo eyes back to the novel currently displayed on the computer monitor in his office; "Byzantium."   
  
* * *   
  
"Hoh, who's this?" Joe asked. The Doctor, unlike the other, human, members of the Voyager crew, looked completely unchanged. He was a hologram, after all. Clean cut, bright eyes, and dressed in navy blues and whites. He was standing beside a dark-skinned beauty, with strange green eyes -- one was white with a green pupil, the other was green with a white rim -- and her hair in dark, tight braids.   
"This is Racy. Racy, Joe Flyer. The reknowned pilot of the Voyager."   
"Oh, right." Racy leaned forward and shook Joe's hand. Kate took this moment to appear, a tall glass of some golden liquid in her hand. "I've heard about you. And you must be Kate Ardri."   
Racy's eyes confused Joe, but he concentrated on ignoring them.   
"Racy.. so you're...?"   
"We're engaged," the Doctor said.   
Kate choked and had to turn away. Joe smirked and patted her shoulder. "Really?"   
"Yes," the Doctor said.   
"Well.." Joe's voice went into the, 'I'm going to tease you' voice, "Do you 'Doctor'....?"   
"Ah," the Doctor laughed. "No, I've actually decided on a name."   
"Oh really?"   
"'eally?" Kate asked, having recovered... mostly.   
"Yes. Lance."   
Joe squinted.   
"Eh?"   
Kate went into another coughing fit.   
  
* * *   
  
"I'm glad to see that you're becoming more comfortable with your emotions, Thirteen, but, uh-- really, um..." Blu looked around her ready room, which was now ready for.. some sort of romantic heist.   
"I researched everything the computer had stored in regards to aphrodisiatic decor in the manner of Feng Shui. {I know I mispelled that}" Thirteen of Sixty-Six looked around. "Don't you like it?"   
"It's.. very.. um.. red.. with.. candles," Blu admitted. "It matches your hair."   
Thirteen tightened his long, red ponytail self-consciously. "Yes, well, er, uh..."   
"I like it," Blu decided. "But! It's not a good way to decorate my ready room." She walked over to Thirteen and leaned in suggestively. "Why don't you get started on my.. hm.. personal quarters?"   
Thirteen blushed. "Uh.. okay.."   
Blu walked back to her table, where a pot of coffee was brewing. Thirteen turned to walk away.   
"Oh.. uh.. Captain..."   
"Yes, Thirteen?"   
"I was just wondering.. are you sure the Doctor isn't just.. 'pulling my leg'... when he tells me this outfit is dermogenically fortifying?"   
Blu looked over Thirteen's wardrobe and took a sip of coffee.   
"I like it."   
"But Captain, sir.. it doesn't leave..."   
"No! You *will* wear it! That's an order."   
Thirteen bit his lip. "Yes sir."   
"Now go get started on my quarters."   
"Yes sir... Uh, Immediately, sir.."   
Thirteen left. Blu wondered what the ex-Rocket had against black business suits anyway. As long as he didn't get his tie caught in the automatic doors he'd be fine. And anyway... it left so much to the imagination.   
  
* * *   
  
"How is it going, Ensign Cait?"   
The young Grey nodded. She looked like both her parents, but had her father's mother's dark hair and gray-blue eyes. "Pretty good, Admiral Flyer. I've gotten a hearing with Randy Johnson, head of the Grey Isles Sect. Now.. whether or not you can get what you want from him is the question."   
"Wonderful, Ensign! Perfect. When can I get this hearing?"   
"I've scheduled you for tomorrow, 16 hundred hours."   
Flyer nodded happily. "Wonderful, wonderful. Oh. Ensign.. your parents were asking for you last night at the reunion. I'm sure they'll be very happy to see you when this mission reaches its conclusion."   
Kai smiled. "I will be very happy to see them as well, Admiral."   
Flyer smiled. "I will see you tomorrow then," she said. "Flyer out."   
She pressed the comm button and the screen flickered off. She gathered some of her things, peered at herself in the mirror, and left her apartment in San Fransisco to visit -- for possibly the last time -- some old friends. To say... goodbye.   
Arriving at the infirmery cell, she opened the door. Huddled on the floor, the familiar, light-framed form of her old friend recoiled from the light.   
"The light, the light!" he hissed.   
"Oh.. I'm sorry."   
She stepped in, allowing the door to close, leaving her in almost absolute darkness. Only three candles were lit. She kneeled next to him.   
"Cobalt."   
He jerked to look at him. "How do you know my name? You are not a doctor."   
"I'm Blu. Do you remember me?"   
"You cannot be Blu. Blu only comes on days of the week when her schedule allows, or during the summer equinox, or when no good shows are playing on televid. None of these states is currently true, therefore, you are not Blu!"   
"I am. Cobalt, I've come to say goodbye."   
Cobalt cackled madly. Calming as abruptly, he said, "It is illogical and absurd to arrive to simply announce a farewell! If you had not arrived you would have no reason to say goodbye, if you do not plan to stay."   
"No. It's not like that. I might never see you again."   
"If you did not return, that would be the case." Cobalt stood, taking a candle and a pencil. "Now if you will excuse me, Aaaaaadmiral, I have things to do that are more important than conversing with absurd imposters who arrive only to explain that not returning results in never seeing! Good DAY!"   
Before Blu could stop him, he walked briskly off into the other end of the room and began measuring the height of the wall, using his pencil as a ruler. Blu started to say something more, then stepped back, shaking her head. If my mission is completed successfully, this will never happen, she thought. Good luck to you, Cobalt. Always forever.   
  
* * *   
  
"What are you doing down here?"   
Joe smirked and followed Kate as she walked to the next console, noting data. "Whaaat... is it so unusual for the helmsman to come to engineering to retrieve reports?"   
"Yes.. in fact, I think it warrants a court marshall," she said with a small smirk.   
"Oh. Oh well."   
She went to the next console.   
"So what did you really come down here for?"   
"To see how you're doing, of course. How are you?"   
"Tired, flustered, trying to figure out who's responsible for changing the color scheme on the engineering desktop monitor.. Argh! Sometimes I just wanna smash all their faces in or something!"   
Joe sighed. "Ah.. that's my Kate."   
He followed her to the next console.   
"So.. have you ever thought about what you, Commander Cantor and the other Marquee crew are going to do when you return to Federation space? I mean.. you're wanted criminals."   
Kate made a thinking noise not unlike the clicking of a twentieth century PC. "I don't know. I don't think anything really terrible can happen to us, since we'll have Captain Flyer and the rest of you Fed Flyboys to back us up." She looked up. "Why do you ask, anyway?"   
"Well.. Today Rion found some sort of anomaly that might *possibly* be a.. you know.. way home."   
Kate laughed. "That kid is always finding anomalies. Any merit?"   
Joe shrugged. "The captain seems to think so. It's in some sort of nebula.. we're heading there now."   
"Nebula, huh? Hmm." She typed in something. "You know what I think about nebulas."   
Joe rolled his eyes. "Let's not get into this."   
  
* * *   
  
"Well Fink, old friend. Here I am."   
Flyer looked at the small metal plaque engraved with her ex First Officer's name. It was half-surrounded by leaves of paper. There was no wind. Blu had her hands folded behind her back. "I'm gonna try and go set things straight. I've got a meeting with Randy Johnson of the Isles to try and get the thing I need... Isles know if I'll get away with it without breaking everyone's neck." She looked up, a rueful smile on her face. "Ah.. I wish I could have some of your well-timed advice now.."   
"Go get 'em. Good luck."   
Blu closed her eyes.   
"You'd probably tell me to take all my apprehensions and shove them up Johnson's ---, and while he was still figuring out that one, grab the goods, flip 'em all off and beam out while--"   
"That's right."   
Blu sighed. "Ah, I appreciate your silent agreement."   
Fink leaned one cheek on his paw, drumming his claws against his desktop. Blu opened her eyes and focused on his name plaque. She did this every month.   
"You know.. I feel so guilty some times. If I had taken that route home through the Rocket warp nexus you never would have ended up as the chief executive of Rollerwheels, Inc, manufacturing the most unbreakable, child-proof rollerskate wheels." She nodded affirmatively, "But now-- Now I'm going to set it all right!"   
"Great. Wonderful," Fink groaned.   
"Well... goodbye old friend. May we meet again in the place where no shadows fall."   
She bowed, then turned and left.   
  
* * *   
  
"I don't understand, Doctor," Cobalt said, pacing back and forth.   
"This is no cause for upset," the Doctor replied.   
"But it IS!" Cobalt insisted. He walked up to the hologram. "Don't you see? I lost at checkers! I never lose at checkers! It was another lapse in my concentration!"   
"Oh! In that case..." the Doctor punched figures into his tricorder, "I'd say you've got about three more years of sanity."   
Cobalt shook his head.   
"Maybe you should tell the Captain."   
"No. If this anomaly Ensign Magnus found leads us home, it will be no matter. If not.. then I will tell her."   
"Are you sure...?"   
"Yes. So please, do not tell her."   
"Alright. If you say so."   
"I will return to bridge duty now."   
  
* * *   
  
"Randy! This is Admiral Flyer," Kaia said in a thin, clear voice.   
"Bwargargh," Randy said, being under the hood of a '76 Ford LTD.   
"What did he say?"   
"He said he can't come out and talk right now," Kai said.   
"Kwarehagehehehsllk!"   
Blu blinked at Kai.   
"Oh. He says the thing you want is over here in the fridgerator, but not to disturb the sesame tehini."   
"Uh huh.."   
They walked over to the fridge and kneeled.   
"What is it with Ruu and sesame tehini anyway?" Blu asked. Kaia shrugged and pulled out the box. "And why was this refridgerated?"   
"I dunno... an excuse for sesame tehini?"   
Blu and Kai stared at the camera for a moment. Then Blu shook her head. "Nevermind that. I have what I need." She stood. "Thank you Ensign, that is all."   
"Wh-what?"   
The Admiral nodded. "Your services have been irreplacable. But now, the rest of this mission is up to me. Go visit your parents."   
"A-Aye, Admiral...." Kai turned and watched Admiral Flyer leave, the box in her hand.   
  
* * *   
  
"I can't see anything," Joe said, squinting at the viewscreen as if that would clarify things. "Didn't anyone ever think of putting window-wipers on a starship?"   
"The nebula's vapors are clouding the sensors," announced Rion. "What you see is what you've got..."   
"Do what you can, Mr. Flyer," the Captain said. Fink drummed his claws on the arm of his commander's chair, wondering why he wasn't the pilot, and if he wasn't the pilot, why the ---- he wasn't the Captain either.   
They went through the pink and orange clouds of gas, and suddenly a huge black pyramid with a big red "R" loomed out of the neon-ness.   
"My God!" exclaimed Rion.   
"Evade, Mr. Flyer -- EVADE!"   
"No DUH!" Joe cried, manipulating the controls. The Voyager took a steep bank and ducked under the ship.   
"Black Isles!" Captain Flyer shouted, standing up so her voice carried better. "Team Rocket is in here! Get us out of here!"   
"My pleasure!" Joe took Voyager out in a hurry. However, the Rocket Pyramid did not follow.   
  
(Elsewhere, being aboard the Bosship)   
  
"Hmmm.... The Voyager..." Sakakai mused in his office. His Persian purred.   
"Assimilation is possible," announced the computer (which sounded like a mix of Rachel Lillis and Eric Stuart's voices). "Proceed?"   
"No. Do not assimilate them... allow them to pass on," the Boss replied. He leaned back. "Thirteen... I hope you thank me some day."   
  
* * *   
  
Admiral Flyer boarded the shuttle and went out into deep space. The precious box of foodstuffs -- the only key of success to save Voyager -- sat in the chair next to her. As she dropped from warp, she nearly collided with a ship clearly labeled the "New Hampshire."   
"What the--"   
Rion's face appeared on the view screen when she opened the channel. "Admiral Flyer!"   
"Small world, eh Rion?" Flyer said.   
"You could say that... What are you doing out here?"   
"If I told you, I would be in trouble."   
"Oh. Well.... in that case... uh... good luck."   
"Right."   
She closed the comm. The New Hampshire drifted away.   
"Now... to change the mistakes of the past..."   
  
* * *   
  
"Captain... there's some kind of wormhole opening," Rion announced.   
Blu rolled her eyes. "ANOTHER one?" she asked. She laughed. "Onscreen."   
A blue and purple hole in space was rifting. A shuttle emerged.   
"Captain... that shuttle has Federation signatures!"   
"Hail them!"   
In a moment, Blu's own face appeared on the screen, looking older and wiser.   
"Captain," the Blu on the screen said. "Let me dock. We're going back to that nebula."   
"Excuse me?"   
"If you didn't notice.. I outrank you."   
"Yeah, I noticed."   
"Well, if I can't get through to you that way.. just trust me, alright? I'm a future you. Ask Cobalt."   
Blu peered at the Admiral-ranking Blu on the screen.   
"Na, I trust you. Harry, prepare the hangar for receiving our guest."   
"Aye Captain..." Rion blinked. "Did you just call me Harry?"   
"Yes, I did." Blu jumped up and over the bannister behind her hair and ruffled Rion's hair. Then she walked off into the turbo to meet her guest.   
  
Admiral Flyer looked pretty much the same as Captain Flyer, except with a higher rank and duller hair. The two met and shook hands.   
"Welcome to the Voyager."   
Admiral Flyer smelled the air. "Ahhh..... it's good to be back."   
"Now.. what's this about returning to the nebula?"   
The Admiral nodded.   
"Right. You need to go back. It holds the key to getting you home."   
"What?"   
"It is a Team Rocket warp hub. One of only six in the known universe. You can use it to go home."   
"But it's swarming with Rockets!"   
"Captain, you must. I have a secret weapon. And if you don't... Cobalt will go insane, Thirteen will die on an away mission, and Fink will end up as the chief executive of a rollerskate-wheel company."   
"Dear GOD no!" Captain Flyer exclaimed, horrified. "Tell me more!"   
"Well... Umm.. You end up as an Admiral!"   
Captain Flyer fainted. Thirteen, who had been acting as honor security, picked up the Captain and carried her down the corridor.   
"Ahh, Thirteen. You look.. so alive!"   
"Yeah... whatever...(weirdo...)"   
"So what's this secret weapon you have?" Captain Flyer asked from Thirteen's arms.   
"I will show you."   
They arrived on the bridge. Fink hastily got up and out of the Captain's chair.   
"Captain!"   
"Hello Fink, crew. We have a visitor... Me! From the future!"   
"Th-th-th-thaaaaa....that is imposs-ss-ssible!" declared Cobalt from the tactical station.   
"Cobalt!" Blu exclaimed from Thirteen's arms. "Is there something wrong with you?"   
"Eh.. no?"   
"Ah! Good! Put me down Thirteen, it's time to go home."   
With her feet firmly on the deck, she turned to the Admiral.   
"Okay.. reveal your secret weapon!"   
Admiral Flyer took out the box.   
"Okay. Here goes. Cue suspense music!"   
She opened the box. The bridge crew held their breaths.   
"What exactly... is that?" Captain Flyer asked.   
"It's a summon," the Admiral whispered. "To summon one of the omnipresent godlike creatures of this universe."   
Captain Flyer gasped. "No way... you mean that notorious being with a one-letter name?"   
"Yes! That's right!" Admiral Flyer cried. "HEAR THAT? I OPENED A BOX OF POCKY!"   
There was a bright, multi-colored flash. The girl that appeared had long, color-shifting hair, and was dressed in a Starfleet outfit.   
"What? OOOH! YES!" She snatched the box from the Admiral. "Mmm.... Hmm? Oh. What are you doing here? No wait, let me guess. You want my help in exchange for this box of pocky?"   
"Yes. We want this ship transported to the Alpha Quadrant, D."   
"I won't do that. That's no fun." D looked around the deck. "Some crew you got here, it's like Bishi-land or something. Mm, mm, mm. Hey you, you get hit by radiation or something?" She leaned over Cobalt's console.   
"Um-m-m-m.. no."   
"Oh. Interesting..."   
"I know you won't transport our ship. But.. we know you might like to give us a chance of making it through the Rocket hub. I know how fond you are of games."   
"Are you sure, cuz your eyes are REALLY green," D said, leaning in close.   
"I'm not radiative!"   
"Hoh, I beg to differ... oh yeah, Admiral-girl, what were you saying?"   
"Go play with Team Rocket and keep them busy."   
D shrugged. "Okay. But only under one condition!"   
"What's that?"   
"This episode lacks something.. it lacks a moral dillemma. So! Therefore, I will give you--" she pointed at Captain Flyer "--A moral dillemma. Here it is. By destroying the hub, you could deal a heavy blow to Team Rocket! But it would destroy your chances of going home."   
"Who cares?"   
"You do.. now!" D waved her hand, and something sparkled around Captain Flyer. "There, that's fun. Hey you, how bout me and you go somewhere and talk about something?" She snagged Cobalt by the elbow and disappeared into the turbolift.   
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Captain Flyer shrieked. "NOT A CONSCIENCE!!!!"   
She walked down to the lower deck and stood behind Joe.   
"Joe... put us in orbit of this nebula."   
"Sure."   
"And Harry, put us on Yellow Alarm."   
Rion took a second to realize she was talking to him.   
"Don't you mean.. uh.. Yellow Alert?"   
"Right. Whatever."   
Rion made a face, but complied.   
"Fink, get together all the senior officers."   
Fink, who had been just about to drop a bottle of turpentine into Blu's coffee, pocketed the bottle and sulked off into the turbolift. Blu tapped her commbadge.   
"Docter?"   
"Yes Captain?"   
"Get a replacement and come to my ready room."   
"For... what... Captain?" The Doctor's voice sounded somewhat hopeful.   
"We're having a staff meeting."   
"Oh. There will be other people there."   
"Yes." Blu turned to Admiral Flyer, "Admiral Flyer, set up for a staff meeting in the ready room."   
"Aye."   
"Done at the helm, Flyer?"   
"Aye sir."   
"Get your butt in the ready room."   
Joe blinked, then nodded, standing and exiting into said room.   
"Harry?"   
"Captain, with all due respect, that's not my--"   
"HARRY...?"   
Rion's eye twitched.   
".....what?"   
"Go find Cobalt and send him to the ready room for the meeting."   
"Aye."   
"And after that, go to the mess hall and get refreshment."   
"Can't you just replicate--"   
Flyer glared. "GET the REFRESHMENTS for the meeting.."   
"...a-aye sir..."   
Blu calmed. She numbered on her fingers, "Then after that, strip down to your boxers and there's some maintenence that needs to be done in the Jaffrey's tubes above my quarters. You can't BELIEVE the noise they make during the night shift!"   
Rion blushed and glared. "ExCUSE me Captain?!"   
Blu walked towards the doors to her ready room. She turned. "Do you have a problem with your orders, Ensign?"   
"Well, yes -- they make no sense! Except the first one!"   
"Do you have a PROBLEM with bringing refreshments to the meeting?"   
"Not necessarily, if I'm going to be AT the meeting!"   
"It's a Senior Officer's meeting! You're not senior in this crew in any category!"   
Rion's hands clamped down on the sides of his console.   
"Well, I will definately NOT repair the Jaffrey's conduits half naked!"   
Blu walked into her ready room, "An optimist would say you were half dressed." She whirled around after stepping inside and jabbed a finger at him.   
"Do it or DIE!"   
The doors shut. Rion glared at the doors, then headed out to find Cobalt. He eventually found the tactical officer, and D, in the mess hall, playing checkers.   
"I always win at this g-game," Cobalt informed D. D shrugged.   
"Always? I've beaten you the last three times. Now how 'bout that sunset cruise you were describing?"   
"You were describing that.."   
"Hey Connery. The Captain wants you."   
"She does, does she?" D leered.   
"For a meeting for the senior officers."   
"Oh..." Cobalt stood. "Well.. I guess th-that means I have to go."   
"Great!" D stood up. "I'll come with you!"   
Cobalt cringed. "Uh.. okay."   
The made to leave. "Are you coming, Harry?"   
Rion's shoulders and face jerked in an angry flinch.   
"My name.. is not--" he trailed off at the clueless looks on the two's faces. "...anyway, no. I'm not coming.... I have to pick up... snacks... first... Hey! What are you--?!"   
"You have nice rufflable hair, Harry," D said, ruffling Rion's hair. Cobalt arched a brow, then started to leave. D fell in line.   
"See ya, Harry," Cobalt said.   
Rion smacked his palms into his forehead and took a moment to keep himself from throwing a chair at them. He turned and started going through the mess hall fridge, wondering why the Captain insisted on only using commbadges in emergencies.   
  
  
(Elsewhere.. {in the Captain's ready room})   
  
"Nice.. decor.. you got here Blu...." Joe said doubtfully.   
Captain Blu frowned. "What!? Thirteen!"   
"Yes.. sir?"   
"I told you to take DOWN this stuff!"   
"Um.. no you didn't sir, you just said to do your quarters."   
"Well, take it down!"   
The Doctor walked in, catching the last bit of conversation. He looked around.   
"I kind of like it."   
"Take it down, Thirteen!"   
"Aye."   
While Thirteen worked on that, Kate, Cobalt and D arrived. Admiral Flyer was seated near the window on the far side of the room.   
"Find a seat everyone... we have important matters to discuss."   
"Why are we in your ready room, and not the board room then?" Kate asked.   
"Because I like it in here better."   
"Oh..."   
"By the way, how are you doing, Lieutenant?"   
Kate looked disturbed. "Alright.. I guess..?"   
"That's right!" said Thirteen, while tossing a bunch of things into the trash receptical. "How ARE you doing?"   
"I'm fine! Why does everyone ask me that these days?"   
"Well, because you're.. uh.. dining for two!" said the Captain.   
"What? What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I'm fat?"   
"No, of course not!" Blu amended. "I mean you're expecting!"   
"Expecting WHAT? That's an incomplete sentence!"   
"She means because you're pregnant," Joe said quickly.   
"What?! No I'm not!"   
Fink took this moment to arrive with the rest of the senior officers... which was actually just himself since everyone else had already arrived.   
"Is everyone here?"   
"Yes, everyone but--"   
The doors opened and several volleys of food flew in on frisbeeing trays. The doors shut.   
"Uh oh.. Harry's in one of his Black Moods."   
"No!" gasped the Doctor. "Not one of his... BLACK MOODS!"   
"Take cover!" yelled Joe, grabbing Kate and ducking below the table.   
"I'm not pregnant!" Kate yelled. "No one ever said I was! Where did everyone get the idea that--"   
"Black Moods? Good God no!" Cobalt exclaimed with a shudder.   
"What? Black Mood? Why wasn't I ever informed about Harry's Black Moods?" She tapped her commbadge (it was an emergency). "Harry! Calm down!"   
A screen on the wall flickered to life. It was black. White letters started scrolling across:   
STOP...CALLING...ME...HARRY.   
Everyone huddled around the monitor, except Fink, who started poisoning all the snacks.   
"What..."   
MY NAME IS NOT HARRY.   
"Harry, this isn't funny..."   
The lights flickered out.   
HARRY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY.   
Blu exchanged glances with Admiral Flyer, then with Kate.   
"Kate, find out this signal's signature." Blu looked back at the screen. "What do you want us to call you?"   
WHAT DEW EWE WONT US TWO CAWL YEW.   
"Harry... what should we call you? can you hear me?"   
The screen stayed blank.   
"Harry?"   
Joe poked Blu's shoulder. "He said to stop calling him that."   
"Well, what should we call him, that's his name!"   
"Captain, I've triangulated the signal."   
"What? Why did you have to triangulate it?"   
"Because.. I like triangulating things?"   
"Okaaaay... well... where's it coming from?"   
"Captain...." Kate looked up. Joe and the Doctor were lighting leftover candles. "It's.. it's coming from inside this ship!"   
Everyone fell over, anime style. Blu recovered first. "Well OBVIOUSLY!"   
Words scrolled some more.   
HAVE YOU CHECKED THE CHILDREN?   
"What? Oh God!" Blu took Thirteen and shook him by the collar. "Go check the children!!!"   
"Aye sir!" Thirteen hurried off. A minute later he walked back in. "There are no children on board this ship, unless you count our youngest member, Harry."   
STOP CALLING ME HARRY.   
"Wait!" Cobalt started crunching numbers. "No, no, no! We calculated this all wrong! His name's not Harry! It's Widget!"   
MY NAME IS NOT WIDGET. IT IS RION.   
D crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.   
"Can we call you Ruffles?"   
DON'T CALL ME THAT EITHER.   
D put a hand on her hip and pointed at the screen. "Look, I'll call y'Ruffles if I want to."   
"Okay, okay!" Admiral Flyer said, waving her hands. "Enough of this parody.. uh.. in a parody! It's time to deal with the matters at hand...?"   
"Oh. Right." Captain Flyer leaned a hand on the back of a chair. "Har.. er... Widg.. um.. Rion.. could you turn the lights back on, please?"   
There was no answer from the screen, but the lights flickered and powered again. Captain Flyer turned to face her crew.   
"Alright everyone. We've got a moral dilemma." Flyer paused to glare at D. "Here it is. We can either use the hub to go home, or we can blow it up and do a favor to the universe."   
"Why don't we just let you stay behind in a shuttle armed with photon torpedoes, then we use it to go home, and you can blow it up?" Fink suggested.   
YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, scrolled across the monitor.   
"What? But I want to go home too!"   
"You're the only one who wants to stay behind and blow it up," Fink said, crossing his arms. "So it only makes sense that you get to be the one to do it. I could care less."   
"We can't just leave the Captain behind," Thirteen said.   
"I agree," the Doctor said. "I, for one, am willing to stay here in the Gamma Quadrant until we get home."   
"But you're just a hologram! You won't die of old age or anything, and you don't have a family to go back to!"   
"And we're not in the Gamma Quadrant! We're still in the Delta!"   
"What?! We haven't even gotten to the Gamma yet?"   
Everyone shook their heads, except for Rion's monitor, which read,   
W_-p;;;;;   
"Well, nevertheless, I have no preference."   
"I don't care either Captain," Joe said.   
Kate nodded.   
"Right," she said. "We've followed you for six seasons and you've never lead us wrong. Well.. except for those times when--"   
"We'll follow you no matter what," Joe interrupted. Kate blinked, then nodded again.   
"As will I, Captain," said Cobalt.   
"Aww, isn't this touching," D said dryly. Admiral Flyer rolled her eyes in agreement.   
"Same here," Thirteen said. "Whatever you chose, I'm with you."   
"Well.. Fink, you seem to be the only person who has a definate opinion.. You want to go.. Well, I guess that means that we'll do what you want to do."   
Fink started to laugh maniacally.   
"Except--"   
Everyone looked at the Captain expectantly.   
"Well... Actually..."   
"Yessssssss...?"   
Blu frowned and turned away. "I think we should blow up the hub."   
Everyone gasped.   
"Blu.. I mean, Captain..."   
"I can't help it!" Blu said, turning. "It's just.. by doing that, we could possibly destroy the Rocket's complete transportation system! At least some of it! Just think.. what if the universe no longer had to deal with them, and live in fear? There would--"   
"Captain, you can't possibly..." Admiral Flyer began.   
"I can't help it," Blu repeated.   
"Well," Fink said. "That leaves us at an impasse. A checkmate. We need someone to break the tie."   
Everyone looked at Rion's monitor.   
"Yes! That's it!" Blu said. "Rion! You must chose!"   
"Chose to go home bud, and I won't pummel you when we find out where you're hiding," Fink promised.   
"Rion! Chose what your heart tells you to!"   
"Shut up, Nesh." Blu blinked, then turned. "Nesh?"   
"Don't call me that, Auntie," Elenesh grinned.   
"Hey!" Joe said. "When did you get here? You left our show three years ago!"   
"Well, I decided I'd take a quick break from being.. you know.. a super-powered Sporosistian-like psychic entity and come see how my old family is doing!"   
"Stop asking me how I'm doing!" yelled Kate, storming out of the room.   
Elenesh blinked. "What's wrong with her?"   
Everyone shrugged blankly.   
"Wait! Look!" exclaimed the Doctor. "Rion's answering!"   
Everyone ignored the fact that their fine Ocampan friend had returned for a bit to look at the screen.   
"What have you chosen, Rion?" asked Blu feverishly. "To explode or to go home..?!"   
The words scrolled slowly:   
S..C..R..E..W....Y..O..U.   
"Aww.. isn't that cute!" Elenesh said.   
"Aren't we supposed to get a threat from Team Rocket by now?" Joe asked, tapping his watch.   
"Oh yeah. Uh.. I guess I have to go regenerate," Thirteen said, then promptly left.   
"Elenesh, it's great that you're here!" Cobalt said. "I have this neural-degredation disease, and you can help by..." he trailed off when Captain Flyer gave him a shocked look.   
"You're SICK?!" she asked. "Why didn't you TELL me?"   
"I..I...I... Oh, look at the pretty lights!" Cobalt reached up to touch the flourescent hanging lights. Everyone blinked at him.   
"Well, he's beyond repair," Blu said, turning away and putting her finger to her chin thoughtfully. "What else did you say could happen, Admiral?"   
"Thirteen will die and Fink will become the head of a--"   
"--Rollerskate wheel place, right. Hmm... Well, I think that this leaves us no choice. We'll hafta sneakily go through the hub, and on our way out, drop a couple photon torpedoes as we leave."   
"Yeah, that should work," Joe said sarcastically. "Despite the fact that there'll be hundreds of Rocket ships after us."   
"That's where I come in," D said, chewing on a peice of pocky. "I'll bet you could stack all those ships into a REALLY big pyramid."   
"Or," Fink said, giving the signal to Kate, "The Marquee could chose this opportune moment to MUTINY! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! COME MY LOYAL CREW!" He made to attack Captain Flyer.   
"*I* am no longer in this room!" Kate announced.   
"Oh. Well.. in that case... uh.. just forget I said anything."   
"Right. It's forgotten," Flyer said.   
The ship shook and went to Red Alert.   
"Isles! Red Alarm!" Blu cried. They rushed to the deck.   
"Er.. don't you mean Red Alert, Captain?" Joe asked as he took his helm place.   
"Whatever."   
"Captain! It's.. It's Team Rocket!"   
Thirteen came running through the turbo lift doors.   
"You know, usually you should wait for the doors to open before you come through," Elenesh said pointfully.   
"Captain!" Thirteen yelled. "Team Rocket has decided to attack us!"   
"We realize that, Thirteen!" Blu yelled as the ship shook again. "Get to your station!"   
"I don't have a station, ma'am!"   
Blu turned around and glared acidly at Thirteen.   
"Thirteen, what have I told you about calling me MA'AM?!"   
Thirteen shrunk back. "Uh.. only when we're eating Crunch bars, sir..."   
"And am I EATING a CRUNCH BAR, Thirteen?!"   
"No sir..."   
"This is OBVIOUSLY a NUTRAGEOUS bar, ISN't it, Thirteen!"   
"Ye-yes, sir!"   
Satisfied, Blu turned around and took her chair. Fink took the Commander's seat and Admiral Flyer stood on the upper deck next to Thirteen and Elenesh.   
"They've compromised our comm system, Captain," Cobalt said.   
"Where is Rion, darnit?! Thirteen, take over Ops for now!"   
"Aye Captain!"   
A green light shone from nowhere as Team Rocket began to recite their expected speech. The one they always spoke before conquering and assimilating a ship.   
"Prepare for boarding! And heed this warning!"   
"Cobalt.. Prep the starboard phasers.."   
"To assimilate your technology as our own! To change all people into drones!"   
"Aye..." Cobalt said.   
"To gain perfection at any cost! To perpetuate the collective that has never lost!"   
"Um.. Captain?"   
"Yes Cobalt?"   
"Star! Vessel! Stand down your weapons and all your hopes! Surrender now and prepare for nanoprobes!"   
"I.. can't remember which one is starboard."   
"Con-FOUND it, Cobalt!!"   
"I'm sorry Captain, but--"   
Voyager shuddered as it was caught in a tractor beam.   
"My cue," D said. "Figure out what you're gonna do, ok? That's all from me."   
She moved her hand and disappeared in a flash.   
"Voyager is out of the tractor," Cobalt announced. "Beam. Tractor beam. Heh, not a farm tractor, cuz--"   
"Joe, take us in towards the hub!"   
"But Captain... what are we going to do?" Joe asked as he followed her orders.   
"We're gonna take out that hub."   
"But.." Rion said, walking in. "This.. this is the last episode of our show! Can't we have our cake and eat it too?!"   
"That's only in Paramount, Ensign," Blu said through determined teeth. "We have to do the right thing."   
Kate walked in with a phaser rifle. She was not wearing her Starfleet uniform; rather, a Marquee-style outfit of plain clothes.   
"Captain," she said to Fink.   
Fink nodded and stood. "The time has come! *Captain* Flyer, you can save the universe, but me and my crew are getting home!" He took off his commbadge and tossed it at Blu's feet. "Come on Kate. Are the rest together?"   
"Yes, they're in the shuttles."   
"Let's go."   
They left.   
"Kate!" Joe yelled.   
"Mr. Flyer, go after them!" Blu ordered. She took the helm herself. "Cobalt, can you keep them from leaving the ship?"   
"Nope, sorry Captain, but all of a sudden these little lines on the computer screen don't make any sense any more.."   
"Move aside!" Rion snapped. He pulled Cobalt out of the tactical station and stepped in. "They've totally screwed with the system!"   
"Kate..." Blu groaned. "How could you! Not that I put it above Fink, but REALLY..."   
"Some crew you've got," Admiral Flyer said. "MY crew would NEVER have mutinied."   
"Shove it," Blu snapped.   
"Heh heh, your hair is blue," Cobalt said, fluffing Blu's hair around.   
"Stop that!"   
"Well it isss," Cobalt whined. He sat down on the floor next to the Captain's chair.   
"We're nearing the hub. Rion, arm three photon torpedoes."   
"Um.. Captain, we only have one left. Remember, you ordered two of them shot at those Kazan 'just to teach them a lesso--'"   
"Silence, Ensign! I said, THREE torpedoes!"   
"But Captain, we only have--"   
"Do it or DIE!"   
Rion shuddered, then threw his hands up. "FINE! THREE torpedoes! WHATEVER!"   
"Thank you Ensign!" Flyer hit her commbadge. "Voyager to Lieutenant Flyer, how's it going?"   
"Not well Captain..."   
"What do you mean?"   
"Well.. heh.. uh.. Some way or another, everyone ended up dead except Kate and Fink."   
"What do you intend to do with them, Joe?"   
"Umm... well, I don't really care about Fink, but Kate.."   
"She's with the enemy Joe! She mutinied!"   
"But I can CHANGE HER!! OH GOD, JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE! I CAN CHAAAAANGE HER!!"   
Blu shook her head sadly.   
"Joe..."   
"Yes, that's right," Joe said sadly.   
"Well then... I guess this is goodbye. Bye, little brother."   
"Goodbye. Tell Tiel and Boomer I love 'em when you get home, ok?"   
"Sure thing."   
"Right.... Flyer.. out."   
Blu regained her bearings.   
"Alright. We're heading in. Rion, when I say, drop the three torpedoes."   
"Aye Captain," Rion muttered.   
"We could possibly make it out... but if we don't.. well.. you guys have been the best crew a Captain could have." She stood. "You've been loyal to the end. You've stuck together like the family we are. We've shared hard times and good times and more hard times. Through fights, through friendships. We are the crew of the Starship Voyager. And if it was Fate that sent us here, then it is also our end that is Fate's choice. We'll take what we're given."   
She turned to look out the viewscreen at the nearing warp nexus.   
"Well... here we go."   
  
The Starship Voyager banked, flying around the huge black pyramid that was being formed out of Rocket ships. The warp nexus was a sprawling patch of black technology, with huge polygonal gates. The whole thing was attached to some sort of huge energy source, like what might possibly ignite into a star at some distant point in time. Rocket ships flew in and out, ignoring the long ship that was no threat to them.   
Flying out ahead was a shuttle, carrying two Marquee members and one Federation pilot.   
  
"Alright," Joe said. "Let's try this.."   
The shuttle neared a gate that was clearly marked 'Terminal A6-Alpha Quadrant.' Joe looked over to Kate and held out his hand. After a moment, she took it in her own and looked ahead. Fink groaned, rolled his eyes, and lit a cig.   
They headed in. At first it seemed like a normal warp. Then things started speeding up.   
"Oh my God," Kate exclaimed. She looked at the monitor readouts. "No way... we're nearing Warp 9.998678! We've never gone that fast!"   
"What? What does theory say?" Fink asked, looking out of the viewscreen.   
"That at Warp 10 you're at every point in the Universe simultaneously," Joe whispered. They watched the number slowly rise.   
"9.9989..." Kate said. "10.."   
  
"Entering the warp gate," Rion announced.   
Blu watched her console.   
"Captain.. if we don't make it out..." the Doctor's voice was coming through Blu's commbadge. "I just wanted to tell you that.. that.."   
"Yes, Doctor?"   
"That I'm in still love with you.. but actually, on retrospect, I guess you already knew that, huh."   
"Yes I did Doctor.. Pour your heart out some other time, we're a little busy."   
"Nearing Warp.. 10.. Captain..." Rion announced amazedly.   
"Drop the torpedoes!"   
"Aye Captain.."   
  
D looked up from her little pyramid as an wave of fire burst out of Terminal A6. With the wave of a hand, she pushed the Rocket pyramid into the path of the outburst. In a huge (though incredibly silent, as there is no sound in space) flash, the Rocket ships exploded into itty-bitty peices of shrapnel that flew off into the distance and sparkled. (Wobb!)   
"Well.. with Team Rocket blasted off, I guess that means I get to go back to the Continuum. Yay." D sighed and flashed out, hoping to reappear for the episode trailer.   
  
* * *   
  
Captain Gobrianna of the USS Fantasy was enjoying a leisurely cup of hot cocoa when her first officer burst in.   
"Yes, what is it Number One?"   
"Uh.. don't call me that, okay? Heh.."   
Bri laughed. "Okay. What's up, James?"   
"A wormhole is opening about half a light year from here. There are no other ships in the vicinity.. should we check it out?"   
"Yes, let's." Bri took her cocoa and followed her brother out onto the bridge.   
"Helm, bring us there," James said, taking his chair. Bri continued to stand. In a few minutes, the blue haired helmsman turned.   
"We're here, Captain."   
"Thank you, Pilot."   
"Uh.. Captain," James said. "I think the correct term is Helm."   
"No, his name is Pilot," Bri corrected. James scrunched up his eyebrows and slouched back in his chair.   
"I sense.... confusion," said Cruisor, the Fantasy's resident spacey psychic crew member.   
"Thank you, Taylor," James said.   
"Now I sense.. irksomeness and anger."   
"THANK you, Taylor!"   
"Now I sense rising, bloodthirtsy, uncontrollable rage.."   
"Both of you, shut up," Bri said from where she was standing, looking over the Ops panel. "This is a wormhole from the Delta Quadrant!"   
The Fantasy shook and rocked as waves of discharged energy flew out of the opening portal. Then, a shuttle was spit out. Next came a Starship, and then a cloud of vapor and smoke.   
"That ship looks familiar.. can you ID it, Ops?" James asked. Bri stepped down to the lower bridge.   
"Hail them!"   
"Aye Captain."   
"Captain, it's.. it's the Voyager!"   
"They're not responding to our hails, Captain."   
"Are you getting anything from them, Taylor?"   
"I sense... hunger for earthworms," Cruisor announced.   
"What?"   
Cruisor closed his eyes self-importantly and re-adjusted his aviators. "My psyche does not lie, and neither do I."   
"Hail them again, all frequencies!"   
"No response, sir!"   
"Are there life forms aboard?"   
"Yes sir.. three living aboard the shuttle and over a hundred on the Voyager..." Sushi, the Ops officer, announced. "But they aren't human."   
"What? Not human!"   
"I sense suprisedness!"   
"Shut up, Taylor!" James said. "Just shut up!"   
"I sense that someone didn't take their pills this morning," Cruisor remarked.   
"*I* sense that someone is going to get beaten badly if he doesn't shut his mouth!" James retorted.   
"You two! Quiet!" Captain Gobrianna snapped.   
"..aye Captain.."   
"Wait! Captain, someone is responding to hails!"   
"Open a channel!"   
The screen showed a golden-white haired man.   
"Captain..?"   
"Gobrianna, of the USS Fantasy," Bri said. "What is going on? We're not detecting you as a life form."   
"Because I am the Voyager's EMH," the Doctor replied. "I'm afraid something terrible has happened to my crew. Although it is wonderful to be back in the Alpha Quadrant.. it took a trip through a Rocket warp nexus. Both our ship and a Federation shuttle reached speeds of Warp 10 before arriving and I'm afraid that..." The Doctor tightened his lips.   
"Yes?"   
"Everyone on board has become a salamander or a large lizard-like creature of some sort."   
"Excuse me?"   
The Doctor wrung his hands and fretted. "And it's really, REALLY gross.. Some are all slimy and require constant moisture, and some are trying to eat eachother, and..."   
Gobrianna held out her hands in a calming gesture.   
"Don't worry Doctor... we'll get everything settled."   
  
* * *   
  
"This is a really nice habitat you have set up for them," the Doctor agreed. He and Captain Gobrianna, and her first officer James, walked through an artificial, tropical jungle. "Aww... look! There's Rion! He's shedding his skin!"   
"Awwww!!"   
They stood and watched him for a moment.   
"Do you think it's dangerous to leave him in an open range environment with the other members of the crew when he's a huge constrictor?"   
Gobrianna crossed her arms. "Aw, he won't hurt anyone. He's so cute!"   
Rion narrowed his eyes, tasted the air with a forked tongue, and then slithered off into the brush.   
"Oh! Oh! Look! There's Thirteen! He's ingesting a whole caribou!"   
"Why was there a caribou in here?" Gobrianna asked James. James shrugged.   
"Uh.. cuz we had one? Oh! You shoulda seen him track down that thing, it was SO cool!"   
The three walked on. D stepped out in front of the camera from the side and looked into it.   
"So! That brings us to the end of the story. And the MORAL of this story is.. Yes?" D pointed at someone in the audience. "You!"   
"Umm.. try to have your cake and eat it too and you turn into a lizard?"   
"Nope! How bout you, in the green shirt?"   
"That the balance of life hangs in a precarious state, and that we must do everything we can to preserve the precious things that nature has given us, and to treasure those we hold dear, because they could be gone from our lives at any moment?"   
D made a face. "Ugh.. no! You, with the scary hair!"   
"Can I buy a vowel?"   
"Uh... how much will you pay for it?"   
"What's the going rate?"   
"I dunno.."   
"Will we haggle?"   
"No. Gimmee 200 Rupees and you can have this fine letter Y."   
"But that's not even a real vowel!"   
"Take it or leave it, pal!"   
"Mm.. no, I'll pass."   
D rolled her eyes.   
"Okay, does ANYone know the moral to this story? Huh? Anyone?"   
"Psst.. you're scaring the audience."   
"Eh? Oh, sorry. Thanks for the cue, Melv. And don't you dare throw anything at me. Okay, listen up and listen good: The moral of this story is: If you make a TV series and then screw it up in weird, WEIRD ways, then end it with a scary ending.. Ruu will write a cracked parody of it. Got it?" D looked over the audience. "Alright! That's all, Gooooooodnight everybody! Mmmmmmmmmmmm-wah!"   
D threw a kiss to the audience, then flashed out. 


End file.
